His Light Endures: A Prayer When Darkness Feels Overwhelming
For as long as I can remember, anxiety has been my constant companion. I was always the “worrier” in my family, the one who couldn’t sleep before big events, who imagined worst-case scenarios for even the smallest challenges. What I didn’t realize until my early twenties was that what I experienced went beyond normal worry – I was suffering from an anxiety disorder with periodic panic attacks.
My first major panic attack happened during my sophomore year of college. I was sitting in a crowded lecture hall when suddenly my heart began racing uncontrollably. I couldn’t catch my breath, my vision tunneled, and I was absolutely convinced I was dying. I stumbled out of the classroom and collapsed in the hallway, certain these were my final moments. A kind student found me and stayed until the symptoms subsided, but the experience left me terrified.
After that, the fear of having another attack began to control my life. I avoided crowded spaces, declined social invitations, and even started skipping classes that were held in large lecture halls. I created an ever-shrinking comfort zone, believing I was keeping myself safe, but I was actually feeding the anxiety that was consuming me.
My family, while loving and supportive, didn’t fully understand what I was experiencing. “Just relax,” they would say, or “You need to pray more and trust God.” These well-intentioned words only made me feel more isolated and inadequate. Why couldn’t I just pray away this feeling? Was my faith too weak? Was this spiritual failure on my part?
The turning point came when my campus minister recommended a Christian counselor who specialized in anxiety disorders. With her guidance, I began to understand that my anxiety wasn’t a spiritual failure or character flaw – it was a medical condition that required proper treatment. She helped me see that seeking professional help was actually an act of stewardship of the mind God had given me.
Through therapy, medication, and spiritual direction, I began to develop healthier ways to manage my anxiety. I learned that while anxiety might always be part of my journey, it didn’t have to define or control me. More importantly, I discovered that God hadn’t abandoned me in my darkest moments – He had been there all along, sometimes carrying me when I couldn’t walk on my own.
Scripture became a lifeline for me, especially Psalm 139 which reminds us that even if we “settle on the far side of the sea” or say “surely the darkness will hide me,” God’s hand will guide us and hold us fast. I realized that anxiety creates a darkness that tells us we are alone, but God’s truth tells us we are never abandoned.
On my worst days, when panic threatens to overwhelm me, I’ve learned to practice what I call “breath prayers” – simple phrases I can repeat with each breath when longer prayers feel impossible. “Jesus, be my peace” or “Lord, I trust you” become anchors in the storm, reminding me where to fix my gaze when everything feels chaotic.
What I’ve learned through this journey is that mental health challenges don’t separate us from God’s love. In fact, they can become pathways to deeper intimacy with Him as we learn to depend on His strength when our own fails us. God doesn’t always remove our struggles, but He faithfully walks through them with us, bringing meaning and purpose even to our pain.
If you’re walking through the darkness of anxiety, panic, or any mental health challenge, please know you’re not alone, your struggle isn’t a sign of spiritual failure, and seeking help isn’t a lack of faith. The God who created both body and mind understands our human frailty and meets us with compassion rather than condemnation.
A Prayer When Darkness Feels Overwhelming
Let’s Pray:
Dear Jesus,
please help me find light when surrounded by darkness.
At times, I feel as though there is nothing but darkness around me.
You are the world’s light, and I know You will surround me with Your brilliant light.
Help me as I walk through this darkness and to focus on Your light fully.
Once I do this, I will feel more confident and strong in life.
You are my guiding force and the One who knows me better than anyone else.
My heart praises You, Lord,
Amen.